I found myself at a loss for words for quite some time. Observing others is easy, but the task of looking deep within myself proves more troublesome. I sat on top of a table near the highest point of Mt. Bonnell for easily 20 minutes, waiting patiently for some substantial thought to come darting into my head. Yet, nothing appeared.
Finally, I made a bit of progress. However, I arrived not at a conclusion, but a question: Exactly what separates "gender identity" from "personal identity?" Are the two not mixed together, unable to be separate and distinct? I came across this train of thought as I contemplated what I would rather be doing than sitting on a table trying in vain to come across decent writing material. I saw Lake Austin far below and wished I could be swimming or socializing on the water with friends. I saw downtown Austin and wished I could be exploring new places there instead of working on school. I just wanted to be active. But, was this because of my gender or personal inclinations? Are they similar? Are they one and the same?
In summation, I'm not exactly sure how my gender identity affects my interaction with the environment. I suspect it causes me to strive to be active and explore the area, but perhaps that's just an individual inclination. Either way, thinking about the issue was a healthy exploration of my personal thoughts.
After your experience with Mt. Bonnell, it seems that, if anything, you found a place to have these inner thougts, but also a place of distraction. Which makes me wonder, what kind of landscape is this for you, a place of zen or distraction?
ReplyDeleteGreat thought. I don't know... maybe they're not mutually exclusive. It's nice to escape into your thoughts for awhile.
DeleteI feel like your post does say something about your gender identity, if indirectly. You're right; gender identity is so closely tied to personal identity and affects so many of our thoughts and decisions. Do you think your gender/personal identity affected what you thought about during your self-reflection?
ReplyDeleteDefinitely. Maybe wanting to be active spoke to my personal identity.
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